A very sweet, young, and newly-married friend posted something on Facebook today that made me think about several things. Her status said, "This will probably offend people, but when did an iPad become the new babysitter?? Seriously irks me..." I was not at all offended by her post but it did make me realize something about parenting that I have learned over the years-- Parenting is a HUMBLING experience!
Once upon a time I was an idealistic young bride...
(Prior to marriage Duane and I had talked about EVERYTHING in regards to raising our future kids. We talked about public vs private schooling, discipline, parenting styles, discipline, traditions we want/don't want to continue, girls vs boys, importance of God and church, and oh yeah... did I mention discipline! We had a plan, a focus, we were going to be rockstars at this whole parenting thing! We were avid people watchers and vowed not to make the "same mistakes" that other people make...)
So the story continues and we became parents and things went well until Emma was about 18 months and suddenly developed her own sense of self, independence, and stubbornness! We would go out to eat and all Duane and I wanted after a long day of child-rearing and work was to discuss our day and have a small "husband/wife" conversation. We realized that day (and the many that followed) the impossibleness of that statement! I learned very quickly that dinner convo would roll something like this: "Today I... Stop Emma, chew your bread, good girl... um... (regain my thought process)... Today I.... Emma don't grab the drink sweetie, no, no... (look back at Duane) Today I was cleaning out the closet and... (Emma begins to fuss and whine because she is hungry so I begin to dig through the diaper bag for the snacks or a toy and try to finish my sentence) So I was cleaning out the closet and... and... and (at this point Duane is trying to keep Emma from climbing out of her highchair as she says dada, dada, dada and throwing her toys on the floor)... and what was I saying Duane?!?! AAAHHH! Chaos!
So, what happens next?!?! I am about to chew crud and lots of it because I am about to become what I swore I would never become-- one of "those" parents, one of "those" people-- out comes the smart phone and it is quickly shoved in front of Emma to occupy her in hopes that Duane and I can at least get through one sentence and just scrape the surface of what our respective days looked like-- forget deep, thought-provoking, meaningful conversation! And it works for about 5 minutes. I mean after all Emma is only 18 months and her 18 month old attention span kicks in and we are back to a dinner circus of keeping her entertained, attempting to connect as a husband and a wife, oh and eat at least a lukewarm meal (ya with me moms)!
So, dinner is just one example. Over my journey as a mom I have said things and done things that I swore I would never do and I have said and done things just like my mom did-- GASP! And more than a dozen times I have been brought to my knees realizing that this whole "parenting" thing is HARD! I don't have it all figured out and regardless of how much we have talked about parenting and read books about parenting at the end of the day here is some truth: God gave 2 beautiful children to 2 completely imperfect people who He never expected to be perfect parents; however, He calls us to lean on Him in complete humbleness, refrain from judgement, and know we are not in this alone.
Humbleness... all the looks I have given other parents replaying in my head... humbleness... thinking I had even a small part of parenting figured out... humbleness... eating so many of my words and thoughts...
Parenting-- what a humbling experience!
