What Emma taught me Sunday

This July our church was collecting new shoes to be donated to orphans all over the world.  My sweet Emma doesn't miss a beat and she kept faithfully reminding me that we needed to make our contribution towards this mission effort.  Sometimes I am on the ball with these types of things and sometimes life just gets in the way.  I was clearly letting life get in the way with this mission opportunity.  This past Sunday I went into a store to replenish some facial cleanser and makeup with Emma in tow.  Upon pulling in the parking lot Emma was very excited, "Mom, we can buy shoes at this store to put in the bin at church!" 

So, the first stop was the Clinique counter so I could get what I needed and in the middle of that task Emma needed to potty--- so pause the Clinique purchase! As we walked towards the back of the store we came upon the shoes. I told Emma we would hit those on the way back... momma just saw C-U-T-E sandals on sale!  She finished her necessary bathroom visit and we were onto the shoes.  My eyes like to browse the shoe section so Emma was quick to remind me: "Mom, we need to go to the KIDS section... the shoes are for KIDS..." So, we get to the kids shoe section and I looked for some pairs that were on sale that Emma could pick from.  The plan was to contribute one pair of shoes.  She finally picked one in her size because she wanted a child her age to have them. Mission accomplished... or so I thought!

Back to the makeup counter to finish that purchase and pay for the shoes.  The friendly girl helping me said, "Oh, did you know that the shoes are buy one, get one half off?" I did not know that but I liked the sound of that! So as we are walking back to the shoe section, for a split second my selfish mind began thinking, "Momma is getting a pair of shoes half off-- yay!" And it was only a split second because Emma excitedly said, "MOM! Now we can donate 2 pairs of shoes to help 2 kids!"  The look on her face was so priceless.

Now I know all kids have a selfish streak. Emma still struggles in the sharing department but for the most part a child's heart is filled with overwhelming kindness-- the kind of kindness that tends to fade as we get older and we develop such a "me" mentality or just plain harden our hearts toward the world. Emma picked out a second pair of shoes to donate and we finally finished that very long transaction.  I have to say that I was so proud of Emma. She could have easily asked for a pair of shoes for herself but her heart was certainly right where it was suppose to be-- shining brightly for Jesus and reminding me to shine my light brighter.  I love this kid :)

Dropping off her donations at church today

The Second Round

Well folks we have a second (and somewhat final) surgery date scheduled!  Tuesday, September 4th will be my surgery "exchange".  This surgery is suppose to be out-patient with no hospital stay if all goes well. I am completely nervous about that detail! I don't enjoy hospital stays but I can't imagine having surgery and going home the same day. The "exchange" is just as it sounds-- my plastic surgeon is going to go back in (hopefully with a slightly smaller incision) and take out my expander implants and put in my permanent implants thus making an exchange. I am very excited about this part! And no more doctor's appointments until pre-op-- YAY!

My expanders have been my enemy since I woke up from my mastectomy 7 weeks ago but now I am actually used to them. I guess it's like anything else you forget how it was before especially when you know you can never go back to the way things were. They have become a part of the new me :)  I don't wake up feeling like I have an elephant on my chest any more.  As I go throughout my day I am aware that things are not "normal" but sometimes I just plain forget!  I am looking forward to having a somewhat more natural feeling "up top" though and getting back to sleeping on my side and tummy.

The human body is truly a work of the Lord-- just AMAZING! My scars are vanishing more and more everyday, my body is used to my thousand pound chest, and I am getting stronger everyday.  I am even picking up Mason a little more everyday.  I have returned to driving even though it is a bit painful-- mainly because the seat belt bothers me.  The body's healing ability is quite humbling indeed. PRAISE!

I can't stop thanking everyone for their support through prayer, meals, transportation (a few weeks ago), child care situations, and just calling, texting, and sending me facebook messages! I love you all and your kindness has been overwhelming.  THANK YOU!

95%

Last week I had an appointment with my high-risk breast doctor (Dr. Litton) who is the initial doctor I saw at MD Anderson after I found out about my BRCA gene. Dr. Litton walked me through my options and got the ball rolling on surgery consultations and such. I had not seen her in roughly six months so I was due for a visit. 

When she walked in the door she said words that made me both smile from ear to ear and want to cry all at the same time: "When I first met you Erica there was an 80% chance you could have breast cancer in your lifetime. Now you sit here before me with a 95% chance of NEVER having breast cancer."

Wow! I loved hearing that-- even though I knew it in my head. I had made all my decisions up until now based on that fact but hearing that from my doctor made me feel awesome! It was like when you play a great game and you know it but to hear the coach say "WELL DONE!" just brings it to another level. And I needed that level because all the pain, discomfort, aching, and trips to MDA were starting to wear on me. I needed that reminder to refocus me and my recovery through this long process.

95%. I'm gonna take it and live it.