How Moms Make Dads Feel Like Losers
My kids played at my friend’s house last week. She was out of town, so her husband was in charge. When my children came home they were each holding a container of ice cream and told me they had just eaten a couple of candy bars. My son’s feet were filthy from playing outside barefoot. They had a blast.
Of course, if the mom had been home, there would’ve been fewer snacks and no barefoot activity. My daughter noticed the difference, “Dads just give you more stuff and let you do more things.” How right she is.
As a mom, do you give your husband the encouragement and latitude to parent in the way he sees fit, or do you make him feel like a loser because it’s not how you do it? A man’s instincts are going to cause him to approach parenting differently, and that’s a good thing.
A supporting article on the topic was 5 Reasons to Let Dad Take Care of the Kids--
It may be natural for moms to rush to meet every need their kids have. We’re nurturers by nature, after all. But dads have a lot to offer in all phases of parenting, too. Take a look at these reasons to let dad handle the kids more.
1. Dads play differently. Dads are more likely to startle children and get them excited, and like to rough-house more than moms. Both of these types of play are beneficial in building a child’s self-confidence and willingness to take risks, according to recent research. (Cambridge University)
2. Dads communicate differently. Studies show that dads are less indulgent with the nonverbal cues, crying and whining. Fathers tend to challenge younger children to use words more to express themselves, increasing the cognitive abilities of children as young as two. (Cambridge University)
3. Dads challenge, moms calm. There are exceptions to every rule, but generally speaking, moms react to stress in their children by trying to calm them and ease the stress, while dads may more naturally react by encouraging their kids to overcome the problem, or rise to the occasion. Both are important facets of building confident, capable kids.
4. Dads develop secure daughters. It’s a fact that girls who have a strong relationship with their fathers are less likely to be sexually active as teens than those who don’t. Girls gain confidence from the dad-daughter relationship that leaves them less hungry for the attention of boys, and less vulnerable. (Journal of Marriage and Family, 1994)
5. Dads appreciate moms’ trust. The respect and trust that you show for your husband when you turn over the parenting reigns can improve your marriage, as well. Couples who cooperate together learn to value one another and spouses and parents, and have a stronger relationship overall.
I hope you were encouraged or challenged like I was. We-- or I--all need a reminder every now and again :)
